March 27th, 2007 (02:52 am)
current mood: crushed
Never again. I won't do this to myself anymore. Emma was so right, good just begs for corruption, it begs to nip at the heels of things it doesn't understand. It's like a quicksand, and the more you try to fight in, the deeper you'll eventually sink. But I can't allow myself to sink so deep. I can't allow this danger to touch everyone I love. Especially him..
It was too close a call this afternoon. I could have ruined him. And for that, I never would have forgiven myself. And if I can't stop it any other way, there is one last thing that I can do. I took his memories, but mine are still in tact. And as long as this is so, I'll never be free, and that temptation will drive me into the ground.
So I will free myself of this hell, like I freed him. I will forget. And in that, I will remember. Remember what it's like to live. Though I would be quite fine to never remember how to love.
( A note left for Selene.Collapse )
( A note left for Emma.Collapse )
( Letter mailed to Lawrence.Collapse )
The waves lapped against the dock as she strode to the end. So much had already happened right here, in view of that lovely green statue. Liberty. So fitting. She would have her liberty now, from the memories that bind her to damn her own life. But it isn't those memories she thinks on now as she sinks to her knees at the end of the dock, her hands pressed over her heart in silent hope.
No, she remembers only the good, beautiful things in life, the things she will soon forget. The things she will relish just one last time. Where she thought there was room for no more tears, she finds she was wrong; A single blue tear falls down the length of her cheek before lavender eyes close to this haunted life.
"Never again." The words whisper to the wind, lost in it's howl almost as quickly as they're spoken.
Her power spins through her mind, slowly, methodically ridding her mind of who and what she was. Never again will she be this woman. Ragged breaths draw the air to her lungs as she uses every ounce of her strength to keep herself upright, her mind like a clean slate as she locks everything so deep. So deep that not even she could ever find it again.
And as her body leaned against the railing, eyes wide and confused as she stared out to the water and the statue, her last memory shook her to her soul.
A pair of perfect green eyes and a smile that would melt the world.
( 'Even at your /most/ evil, you still couldn't help yourself but embrace your biggest weakness.' (Emma)Collapse )